Well it was a long night in the Burton house last night. Ms Tally is sick/cutting a tooth. She has a wicked runny nose and couldn't sleep because of it even with her mattress elevated. So we were up constantly all night. Matt finally slipped her into bed with us about 1 am but unlike other times we've done that she still didn't sleep well. Finally totally getting up at 5 am. It's noon and she still won't go down for a nap. I'm losing my mind. So I am not the best person to be around today. So I'll explain in the next paragraph...
I upset a good friend today by being my smart ass self when I'm cranky. It wasn't a thought out "oh I want to piss her off" kind of thing. She doesn't like talking to me when I'm like this and I totally understand. In her position I wouldn't want to either. Yet I needed her, not to give me advice but to listen to me. I take things that are meant to be helpful in these times as judgements on my parenting abilities. So now we are both in a mood to which it's all my fault for being cranky. I finally broke down after Ms Tally decided she was going to have a melt down on me. Seriously I am not a good friend or wife and on top of that I am doubting being a good mother. I hate feeling this way. It's 12:30 and Tally is finally asleep on the floor laying on her boppy.
So I am taking a leave from posting on my area moms board which I wasn't doing much of these days anyway. I am also debating on leaving the playgroup we were on. Just not sure what I want to do. I need to shield people from my smart ass bitchy reactions. It's not like I have many friends these days anyways. I'm not happy with myself so how can I keep other ppl happy? So anyway enough of my depressed behavior. I'll keep this updated and stick to my scrapbooking. Other than that I'm going to keep my internet off.
I'm sorry to...(you know who you are)
We're good and sometimes motherhood sucks the big one which is why we need to stick together. I really, really hope tonight goes better for all of you.
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